Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

I don’t watch football. We’re not a football family. The DNPH sat down with Monkey Boy a couple of weekends ago to watch one of the playoff games, but that’s the extent of our football watching thus far this year. Except we always watch the Superbowl.

Personally, I find the game to be “that thing that happens between the commercials and the half-time show.” I’m not a huge WHO fan, but I’m not inherently opposed to them. Old rockers are still good rockers.

So yesterday I stocked up on the necessaries. I bought things that I haven’t bought in years. Like Velveeta. I bought a small block of Velveeta cheese yesterday. This ‘pasteurized processed cheese product’ says it will expire this June. I think we all know better than that. When the nukes finally get us, or Chthulu descends, the only things left on this earth will be the cockroaches nibbling their way through shiny orange Velveeta.

That said, nothing is guaranteed to evoke memory like Velveeta melted with a can of Ro-Tel. It’s like high school football games all over again with me freezing my butt off in my marching band uniform, waiting in the stands to play, then huddling with my friends to stay warm. In other words, it’s just not football without Velveeta and Ro-Tel.

I got other stuff to make the good kind of nachos, with the ground beef and refried beans and salsa, too. Bye-bye diet! At least for tomorrow!

So what are y’all nibbling on tomorrow during the big game?

And maybe I should know this, but…who’s playing?

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